The Top 10 Types of People That Piss Me Off

1. Audi & BMW drivers. Yes, we know you have the horsepower but is there any need to ram it up our rear ends? Mercedes and Maserati drivers don't do it, so why must you?
2. Pub bouncers. I don't care how much meat you have on your bones, it doesn't compensate for your low IQ and unflinching delusion that you have authority over anyone. If I wanted to get maimed by a gorilla, I'd jump into the ape pen at Paignton Zoo thank you...
3. Awkward shop customers. I mean the ones who like to hold up the entire queue by asking the cashier something completely out of the box, like ordering seventeen cappuccinos all at once, or waltzing into Starbucks and asking if they sell porridge and getting in a strop when they're told "no, this is a coffee shop."
4. Awkward shop assistants/cashiers. The type who take a simple task and twist it into something so complex and unrecognisable that it takes three times as long to do.
5. Up-sellers in shops. No, for the umpteenth time, I do not want to buy any of your counter-top impulse purchases. Just sell me my newspaper and let me go. 
6. Self-service checkout assistants. My beacon is flashing....helloooooooo...are you going to come over and swipe your little card or just stand there and stare into space until I drag you over?
7. People who complain to the waiter/waitress about the food in Wetherspoons. You paid a fiver for a steak and chips, what were you expecting?
8. Pedestrians who stop right in front of you in the street. Since when was I capable of passing through solid objects?
9. High street canvassers. I want to be able to walk from Boots to Waterstones without being approached by a chump holding a bucket. Is that too much to ask for?
10. People who complain about other people. Hang on, does that mean I have to be pissed off with myself?