The Demon Quadrumvirate

In a far away place at the foot of a tree,
Stood a man with an axe of six foot and three.
At the top of the tree sat a house made of stone,
Within it, four tombs, carved from white bone.

Jack Frost, he burst forth from tomb number one,
And stood there bewildered at the glare of the sun.
Out came Sam Hain from tomb number two,
Crossed his beastly arms and said "who on Earth are you?"

Then out jumped a rabbit from tomb number three,
Who said "I'm the Easter Bunny, Jack Rabbit, that's me!"
Then all of a sudden came a might roar,
And a shake and a rumble from tomb number four.

Out burst a Vampire with fangs made of steel,
Who cowered from the sun for the burning he could feel.
Dressed head to toe in a black velvet coat,
He danced in the shadows with a cackle and a gloat.

The man with the axe brought it back for a swing,
And he chopped and he hacked with all his arms could bring.
The tree began to sway and the vampire hollered,
"We'll meet somewhere quiet, somewhere we're not bothered."

As the tree began to falter, the demons flew away,
On promises to rule this world and fight another day.
They were monsters of an era, unleashed upon the land,
A frightful team of ghoulish fiends together hand-in-hand.

Sam Hain he would be crawling down the chimney Christmas Day,
To terrify the kiddies and take their treats away.
Jack Frost he would be bringing chills to a hot and steamy night,
With people fleeing scared at the icy, freezing sight.

Jack Rabbit he would be stealing all the tricks on Halloween,
Hopping truly madly in delight at what he'd seen.
The Vampire he would rather spend a day upon a spire,
Laughing in the moonlight before the sunshine brought its fire.

But there were days when ghouls of plenty would long for home sweet home,
And soon they would be bored of mischief and long to be alone.
But their tree had long since fallen at the hands of angry villagers,
Never again to rue the night as demons, ghouls or pillagers.

© Mark Rothwell 2014

Plight of the Bulbous-Headed Alien

On my planet

It rains diamonds

And they really hurt when they hit my bulbous head.

LOL

Embryonic Innocence

If we could choose when to be born
Would we also choose the colour of our eyes
And the sound of our voice?

Would we live as Kings whilst
Those who were born unplanned
Lived as beggars and thieves?

No matter what the origin
In the end only a soul with eyes and a voice
Unfettered by choice or luck
Should have the opportunity to choose when to die

Before the ravages of old age take a fine man
And make him a shadow of his former self

It's only fair right?

Things That Piss Me Off - TV & Film

Telephone Manner

Most commonly seen in American film and television programs, the failure to say hello, goodbye, and the strange practice of announcing a call with your surname. Is this just a time saving measure or are Americans just inherently rude?

The Top 10 Types of People That Piss Me Off

1. Audi & BMW drivers. Yes, we know you have the horsepower but is there any need to ram it up our rear ends? Mercedes and Maserati drivers don't do it, so why must you?
2. Pub bouncers. I don't care how much meat you have on your bones, it doesn't compensate for your low IQ and unflinching delusion that you have authority over anyone. If I wanted to get maimed by a gorilla, I'd jump into the ape pen at Paignton Zoo thank you...
3. Awkward shop customers. I mean the ones who like to hold up the entire queue by asking the cashier something completely out of the box, like ordering seventeen cappuccinos all at once, or waltzing into Starbucks and asking if they sell porridge and getting in a strop when they're told "no, this is a coffee shop."
4. Awkward shop assistants/cashiers. The type who take a simple task and twist it into something so complex and unrecognisable that it takes three times as long to do.
5. Up-sellers in shops. No, for the umpteenth time, I do not want to buy any of your counter-top impulse purchases. Just sell me my newspaper and let me go. 
6. Self-service checkout assistants. My beacon is flashing....helloooooooo...are you going to come over and swipe your little card or just stand there and stare into space until I drag you over?
7. People who complain to the waiter/waitress about the food in Wetherspoons. You paid a fiver for a steak and chips, what were you expecting?
8. Pedestrians who stop right in front of you in the street. Since when was I capable of passing through solid objects?
9. High street canvassers. I want to be able to walk from Boots to Waterstones without being approached by a chump holding a bucket. Is that too much to ask for?
10. People who complain about other people. Hang on, does that mean I have to be pissed off with myself?

A Poem Written By Me

I want to tell you I miss you
But the words feel strangely the same
As telling you I detest your existence
Because neither should follow your name.

After all this time my heart still aches
When I hear the sound of your voice
The smell of your perfume and the look in your eye
When I remember I just had no choice.

Try as I might I can never forget
The looks the love and the feeling
Of your skin on my skin and the touch of your lips
And the wounds that just aren't healing.

So I want you to know that I'd rather have you in my life than not at all. It's hard, it hurts and it kills me to know that you're giving your heart and everything you promised me to somebody else. I am not a bad person and you need to know that under the surface of the angry person you sometimes see, I am secretly happy for you, and grateful for giving me so many amazing memories. Just promise me you will never keep it to yourself if one day you feel that spark again.